But that’s called denial, and I suppose… ‘Just don’t stop loving me back,’ I tell her, and she kisses my face all over. ‘Never never never...’ she says between kisses. ‘I have to go, or I’ll be late,’ I say, stepping back. ‘What time is he expecting-‘ she holds up a hand and I stop. ‘Sorry. It’s hard not to…want to know.’ We study each other’s faces, unsure how to say goodbye. ‘Will you be okay?’ I ask. She gives a tiny nod. ‘Will you?’ ‘I will.’ Is it a lie? I am beyond the point of knowing.. On the other side of the closed door, in the living room, a Daddy I had met online was waiting for me to come out. I could hear him under the soft music sometimes getting up to get more wine.We had exchanged messages for quite some time before agreeing to meet – or, rather, before I agreed to meet. It had taken me time to feel confident and secure enough to let others see me this way – truth be told, I still didn’t feel confident for this meeting. Closing one eye to carefully apply a winged. More

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