He figured he could easily survive multiple gunshot wounds, falls from large heights, car accidents, and all sorts of other freak accidents. That shou...d help out in a pinch.Jake got up and went to the bathroom to wash his hand off. As he let the cool water run, he felt a strange surge in the direction of his parent's bedroom. At first, he thought they must be using their powers to contact the Council and set up a meeting, but then he remembered that all they had had to do was make a telephone. When I was born, I was given a choice: a big pecker and a long tongue “or” a good memory ... I don’t remember what I chose.2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.4. Impotence: nature’s way of saying, “No hard feelings...”5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - ‘don’t’ and ‘stop’, unless they are used together.6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best. More

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