I can't even make myself cheerful at the littlest things now. How was I going to maintain a happy relationship when I'm hell bent on giving myself not...ing but punishment?It's so sad that I let someone break me like this. Causing my life to turn upside down and make me hate life as well as myself. I can't even believe in myself anymore. I've lost the desire to create and bring laughter to others. I can't bring myself to want anything, to hope or even love.I don't deserve love anyway, not even. It is this couple, Pam and Mike, that my wife's fantasy revolves round. She would like us both to be totally dominated by them. She would like us to be their sexual playthings for the night.The fantasy starts by Mike phoning Kathy, my wife, in the morning to tell her that they will both be coming round to visit us later that evening for sex. He gives her particular instructions that they will be taking charge of proceedings and that both Kathy and I will have to do everything that they say. More

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