That experience meant that I wascautious around girls. I hardly said anything to them and when I did, Icovered my face afterwards.Everyone thought tha... I was dumb. Some even called me retarded. Justbecause I couldn't understand everything. It's not that my brain didn'twork. It wanted to understand how things worked. My answer to everythingwas that God helps. It makes sense. He is the boss of the whole universe.So when the teacher asked me how babies are made, I just answered thatGod does it.. My Uncle and that man fucking me was the first time I had ever been abused. He told me to 'say nothing' or he would report me to my Father which he knew would get me soundly whipped when I got back.I was always very afraid of my Father, still am!Last Christmas I went home on leave. Thinking I was a man now at eighteen. Foolishly I went out with some mates from school for a drink, came back late and a little bit tipsy. Dad gets mad and has my trousers down over the kitchen chair for coming home. More

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