John was only about thirty feet away from me, but with so many people in the bar it took me several seconds before I got to him. John has always been ...omewhat of a pretty-boy. He's really good-looking and all of the girls like him, but he can't fight worth a shit. The problem is he's constantly pissing off ex-boyfriends, husbands, etc, and I assumed that this was probably the case here as well.I moved quickly to John's rescue and so did Mike. I got to him first. By now John was turtled on the. Maybe forty." "Well, which is it, Pete?" Wendy asked. "Hold your horses! Jeez," Pete complained. After a minute, he finally answered. "It says thirty-eight here." "But you've been putting on weight, dear," Wendy criticized. "All that beer you've been drinking. It's probably forty. Listen, Pete, try on what you've got in there, and I'm going to go out and find some other pants for you to try, okay?" "Yeah, yeah." We stood there listening to this exchange with barely stifled giggles. We knew it. More

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