Of course, I hadn't been present when the two boys were born, either, so I had no warning of the deluge of emotion I felt at the appearance of the two...red, wrinkled, smeared, beautiful little creatures. I wasn't the only one; the midwife looked at the tears flowing down my cheeks and smiled gently;"It gets to me, too," she said, "every time."Amy was breast-feeding. We had bottles, and steriliser, and solution because babies need water sometimes as well as milk, and we had some formula milk in. Thus, we were left to our own devices. Of course, my mind at that time was absolutely dominated with thoughts of sexuality. I would look upon my vagina, imagining what it would be like to have something in it, thinking about men I would like. I would try to catch a glimpse of my brothers as they exited the bathtub. The one thing I wanted more than anything was to lose my virginity. The problem was there was no one but family around for miles, and I wasn’t willing to go that far yet. Once I had. More

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