The idea of another man taking my place in my children's lives, and in my wife's bed, was, of course, distasteful, but I'd always assumed she'd do bet...er the second time around. It had never dawned on me that I might be the survivor.I wasn't equipped to be a survivor. As seemingly perfect as things were before, I'd already had inklings that I didn't know how to live, and so didn't know how to be a father - and, for that matter, a husband. My job, upon which I relied for validation, was. My wife and I planned a two week vacation out of the country and I called my friend asking if he would hold on to personal video material and our sex toys while we were gone. We planned for relatives to house sit while we were gone and I didn't want them poking around and finding our erotic stash of goodies. He agreed to do it and I put together a few small boxes of very personal items that included dildos, vibrators, strap-ons, E-Stim, personal videos, and other erotic toys. While I wasn't. More

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