Dear string underwear- Thank you for being slightly 'fuller' in the front and back, and a thin string on the sides. You are comfortable and I like wea...ing you. Not as much as your sister g-string, but I still like and enjoy you. Dear hipsters- Thank you for allowing me to wear low-cut jeans. I like your style, we should hang out more often. I am sorry that I like blue cheese so much and now you are slowly getting tighter. In fact, not just blue cheese but all food. (That's another open letter). I saw old man Wilson walking his dog and said something about all of the cars parked in front of our house.Then our neighbor called to me to come closer. She asked what the occasion was and I told her too.I had done my job so I slipped up to my bedroom and waited for the fireworks to start. You see in my neighborhood everyone knows what everyone else is doing, so word spread like wildfire.Neighbors were calling about the loud music. The police were called about all the cars. Even Dad called. More

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