”I punch her arm. “You sound like a park ranger, a hot park ranger, kiss me, you ragamuffin.”Bell pouts. “I am not a ragamuffin, and if I am, ...hat means you’re are a tramp. So no kissy-poo for you. Here take the knife, strap it to your right ankle.”I take the knife and do as Bell says. “What the?”Bell laughs at that. “Strap it to your leg, here I’ll show you.”Bell uses a Velcro strap that is attached to the knife to strap it to my left leg. I feel weird having never had to rely on weapons. . . . and broke his nose . . . and knocked out a few teeth . . . and broke his jaw . . . and a few ribs . . . then kicked him in the same set of balls that my soon-to-be ex-wife had been trying to wear as a chin ornament. It was about that time that the police arrived. They had a naked man in my front yard and a naked woman standing on the porch. Yet they arrested me for some reason, even though I explained that this was MY house, that was MY wife and the naked guy was the scum who was checking. More

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