The whole private detective thing isn't all it's cracked up to be, you know. All I ever do is solve minor dilemmas and mysteries that aren't important...enough for the real police. And on top of all the work stuff, I haven't had a serious relationship in three years as of last Saturday. I was having a really good week and then on Friday I realized that tomorrow was the day Heather left me. I know it's over between us and I don't hold it against her, I just feel so alone. It's starting to feel. I loved to hear those sex-ignorant girls squeal as I pumped them full of my special blend of "Randy" premium after school and before our parents came home to hear our wicked sounds of debauchery. I think my Nicole was a bit of a lesbian because she never hesitated to suck out my stuff telling the girls that it would protect them from getting pregnant. I knew that was not scientific at all but kept quiet because we were all enjoying ourselves too much to interrupt the process.There was something. More

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