Why did the carpenter’s wife leave him?A. Because he was screwing around when he should have been nailing her.Q. If a bluebird has blue babies and a...redbird has red babies, what kind of bird has no babies?A. A swallow.Q. Did you hear about the woodworker who fell into a vat of varnish?A. It was a terrible end, but a beautiful finish.I bought a dog from a blacksmith today. As soon as he got home he made a bolt for the door!A blond is walking down the street with one tit hanging out. A cop stops. He came over to where I was standing and introduced himself as Rick. When he spoke, it dawned on me who he was. I could never get enough of that gravelly voice. You know, the deep down, melt your bones kind of voice. I’m thinking to myself, ‘No, it couldn’t be. No way is this happening. I am not standing here with Vin Diesel. It must be the alcohol affecting my brain.’ But when I really looked at him, I knew it was. But he said that his name was Rick. Ok, I’ll play along and act like I don’t. More

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