And then I wake up only to find I’m still trapped in this nightmare, a nightmare of a life with no joy, no happiness, no love, nothing but sadness f...r me. Each day I wake up. Each day I wonder. I wonder what it would have been like. To just have, the briefest of moments to be with you. To be a whole person again. To be a real person with a life again. To be what used to be me. I wonder about a life that can never be now. A life that, that by contrast, is so different than what I have now. I can. The opening bogged him down to start with: 'Dear Isobel', 'My dear Isobel', 'Dearest Isobel', 'Hi Isobel!'? In the end he decided it had to be the first. It could not be misconstrued even though it did not carry the affection he felt for her. By Sunday evening he had written as follows:Dear Isobel,I have abided by your wish and have not attempted to see you nor will I until you give me permission. That does not mean that I have enjoyed myself. I miss you badly: your laughter, your quick wit,. More

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