Finally, I had decided this was not for me. Thankfully, on Charlie’s birthday, I was working a full day followed by a work event in the evening. I w...uld just pop by his place and give him his gifts. I stopped by his place, very early, hoping he would be asleep. As expected, he was still snoozing in his lazy boy chair in the living room (ya I don’t get it either — he had slept there for years). I walked in and called out happy birthday. Slowly waking up, Charlie saw me standing there with gifts. That's all you could do."Everyone had been saying that to me for the past hour. I wanted to believe them, but I wasn't convinced that there wasn't something else I could have done. The friend who was like a sister to me was in surgery, possibly dying, and I felt like it was my fault.Tears welled up inside me, but they wouldn't come out. Since going into the nurse mode while taking care of Joyie, I'd been unable to function in anything other than the calm collected manner that mimicked Mom's. More

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