The next night, I waited in the parking lot of Mocha J's until I sawMartin show up. I didn't know what I was going to do though. I thoughtmaybe I woul... text him and say something came up, but then we would justre-schedule. There was no way out of this.So what could I do? Anything that happened now would only break hisheart. Disappearing or telling him the truth. Walking through those doorsand showing him my phone full of his texts - his secrets, his truth.I couldn't bring myself to do it, but I. . There is always a but. I felt, after a while, that I missed on so many things. I am a good looking guy, and over the years I managed to build a good business, but even before that, girls just liked me, and it somehow, transponded into my self esteem, in a good way. But over the time, it got hard, you know. When I see a hottie, clearly eye flirting with me, or doing it in a casual conversation, it just drowe me crazy. And yes, I am weak, I was subdued to fall into the pit of selfloading. More

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