They look away but the whispering continues. I have no one to whisper to. I have lost again and look away with eyes full of remorse and hurt and that ...lint of fear. Fear of the pain? No…more accurately described as fear of failure. What kind of mother will I be? Hands explore a surface so hard and round and promising, feeling that pulse of life within, wishing I could look like this forever and have someone to whisper to. And then the pain came, and I wonder why I was not in fear of it. Pain. The first time, anyway.I guess the condom thing was irrelevant. Emily probably wasn’t concerned with me bringing her some awful disease from her darling daughter. She more or less knew where Judith had been.Well. Up until last night, anyway.Damn it! There was absolutely no way around it. I was going to have to confess to Emily.Damn!I knew that there was no time for hemming and hawing around with this. Who knew when Judith might decide to call dear old Mom and confide that she had, while home. More

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