But I do know what loss feels like." We reached the van and he walked around to the driver's side. "You don't want to sit around feeling bad for yours...lf. It's better to get back on the horse." Save your breath," I said. "The only reason I'm here at all is because Babs told me the same thing. But I never wanted all this. I was tricked." I opened the passenger door and climbed in. "If Riley hadn't been there, I never would've agreed to any of this." How kind," a voice from the back of the van. By my early teens, I really embraced mytransvestism, and started buying more age and size appropriateclothing and accessories, and found that I could make a veryconvincing young woman, especially after I let my hair grow long. Iused to love walking through the mall, admiring each season's newfashions, and I was never "read" once. Even the woman at the earringshop had no clue to my gender when she pierced my ears.As I thought back to those years, I had to laugh at the irony. Here Iwas, terrified. More

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