I gotta get two more batters out.’ As Texas Joe returned, Dober pawed the dirt behind the mound with his spikes. A twinge sizzled through his body f...om his right shoulder to his spine and down his legs. He fought an urge to rub it, dared not share a sign of weakness at this point of the game. He remembered a line from the Dan Quisenberry poem ‘Time to Quit.’. Dan was a major league pitcher who wrote about his last year: ‘a doberman gnaws my shoulder/with each toss’. Chuckling, he thought about. “I just…um…no.” “No girlfriend or boyfriend?” she said. “No sex life to speak of? Not even masturbation?” “No,” he said in utter misery. “That explains it then,” she said. “The pain is coming from a complete non-emission of spermatozoic material, apparently dating from adolescence.” She gingerly handled his balls, which were purple and huge. To his utter embarrassment, Derek immediately got an erection. Combined with the pain, this was not his best day. As a matter of fact, he wanted to die.. More

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