“Mom! Gimme a break! I haven’t even asked anyone.”“What about you, Patti?” Maria asked. Vern shook his head.“No, Mom. I haven’t done a t...ing.”Maria leaned back in her chair and reached for a pad of paper on the counter. Her robe gaped widely.“Mom!” Andy yelped again.Maria returned to her position at the table. “Like the view?” she smiled, tearing off pages and handing them to the two teens. “Make a list of all the girls, Andy, and all the guys, Patti, in your class who aren’t going out with. I would enter from the opposite side in a white merry widow, white stockings, white lace gloves, a wedding veil, and carrying a bouquet of white roses. We each wore color-coordinated masks or I doubt if I could have done it. By a carefully choreographed script we would circle each other then she would lunge at me in a lip-lock while I feigned fear. After I slowly succumbed to her attentions we would collapse into soissant-neuf on the floor amidst drizzling applause. We would suck on each. More

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