1. Sex would smell like chocolate2. Farts would smell like roses3. Dogs would smell spring fresh4. Babies would come from vending machines5. Men would...be born with a permanent erection6. All women would have the same size breasts7. There would be no cellulite8. Every food on the planet would be FAT FREE9. Men would be born with an “OFF” switch10. There would be no “Hooters”11. A man’s paycheck would be made payable to his wife12. All menstrual cycles would be replaced with a 5-8 day vacation in. But that relationship ended five years ago, long before I started with the company and the backstory would just take too long.“Well, if you need me,” she says, “for something, you know, more attractively distracting, my door is always open.” Her eyebrows are raised as she nudges her head down to where her hands form a V by her crotch. Sophisticated.I smile.When I get back to my office, I shut the door and pull out my phone. I open the text from Julie and let it once again invade my headspace.. More

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