She had a negativeattitude towards males and took it out on me. She believed in many radical health treatments and especially thatthe bowels shoul... be moved daily and irrigated at least once a week,more frequently if necessary. She also was a firm believer in spankingas a method of "behavior modification," so every week she gave me asoapy cleansing enema, often combined with a very painful spankingwith her antique wooden hairbrush. I hated these treatments, whichonly encouraged her to. Why?J. I feel it all over again. I feel like a man until I look down and - You wouldn't understand. I told you this yesterday. It happened again. It will happen tomorrow. This is my punishment.D. Punishment for what?J. My punishment is I have to sit to pee. I've gotten shorter. Weaker. Smaller. My identity has been taken from me. My life has been taken. And I forget why. All I know is I am a girl. I have no idea how I will live as one... I'm tired.D. You've been napping.J. I tried to stay up. I. More

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