I love giving over control to someone else. There’s nothing more exciting for me than giving over control to someone—and then not knowing what is ...oing to happen. It’s a bit like getting on a rollercoaster. You know that someone else is in charge. Someone else will decide what’s going to happen, and you just have to give in to that. Rollercoasters get me off. But they are nothing compared with being naked and exposed where anyone might see me. And promising myself that I’ll do only as I am. I unfolded the handkerchief to find my uneaten teacake from the previous evening. ‘You must eat something now,’ he said. This time I did not protest. I ate slowly, watching him. He stared out the window and was silent, but his presence overwhelmed me. I thought back to the sensation of his body against mine as he had held me the night before. My flesh prickled with goose pimples and I felt a fluttering in my chest. I wanted him to hold me again—to smooth my hair and speak in low tones. But he. More

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