My wife of two years Agnes was cute, but dumb as they come. As soon as I brought her home from Norway, where I met her during Army Alpine Training, I ...ould see my Mum’s eyeballs roll up. When I was a kid, Mum never stops telling me, we had to take roundabout routes everywhere to avoid pet shops, I was always a sucker for those big soppy eyes in the window. I guess I never grew out of it. The first half of a pint of Best Bitter is the universal elixir. OK, I know a lot of people drink to excess. ’ ‘Hell yeah! I’ma text you when I leave. Send me a couple pics.’ Gabriel fired off two images – one of his face and one of his butt covered in pink lace boyshorts. The thug asked if that was how he looked right now. Gabriel responded that he had taken both pictures the night before. The guy seemed satisfied. Twenty minutes later a new text arrived. -I’m on train. -OK. Great! What’s your name?’ -Call me D. -OK. I’m Bubbles. -I know. You smoke weed? -I do. But I don’t have any. -I got some.. More

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