13. David was a hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar. He fought the finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in biblical times.14. Solomon,...one of davids sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.15. When mary heard she was the mother of jesus, she sang the magna carta.16. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived they found jesus in the manager.17. Jesus was born because mary had an immaculate contraption.18. St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.19. Jesus. I ought to beat the shit out of you." Stop!" I heard a voice behind me. I turned and it was Ellen. She turned white when she saw me. She was totally lost for words. While she was standing there Lisa spoke."Jason, the baby isn't yours; it's Boyd's. I'm over two months gone and I wasn't with you at the time. I just told everyone it was yours to get even with Boyd. We had a fight and I know how much he hated you so I told him you were the father. I am going to have an abortion anyway. I'm too. More

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