Bye now ... I love you."08:15 Saturday, May 25th, 1991Interstate 10 EastboundBetween Deming and Las Cruces, NMBen had been at the wheel since the McDo...alds at Deming, and Sandy would take over again at the cutout to Odessa. They figured to reach the Sterling City area around 16:00 hours. Ben had forgotten his small cassette boom box, and the Army had not seen fit to install an FM radio in the pickup, therefore the ride was silent except for the wind and tire noise.He daydreamt on the flat,. I told him I was having confusing and conflicting urges towards men and women and didn’t know what it meant. He told me about his own struggle to find himself and how hard it was to come out. He gave me a lot of good advice that day.Weeks went by where nothing changed for me. I just couldn’t get the thoughts out of my mind. “What would it feel like? Would I like it? Does it hurt? What if I am gay?” All those questions ran through my head daily. I was tired of wondering and I wanted to find. More

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