I can only make one small criticism, a very minor one really but one that didn't seem right for the period. At one point you wrote. 'At 9:30 she appro...ched me'. I think that is a modern way of saying the time. Emily more likely would have said, 'At half nine or half past nine.' Just a minor point but as I'm doing Creative Writing too, I thought I should point it out just in case you decide to submit it as a piece of coursework." He grinned and I did too and wondered at the care with which he'd. Dylans fingers were gyrating hard to open her up and Ellies arsehole was sore but she pushed back looking for more. Not yet baby, I am going to soften you up first and make your whole arse on fire. Ellie felt bereft when his fingers left her hole. Dylan sat quickly and flipped her over his lap and planted the first hard slap on her arse. Before she had time to brace herself he had laid another five across both cheeks. The pain was hardly bearable and she squirmed on his lap. Open your cheeks. More

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