Nothingever changed for me. The only relief I ever had was the time I was atAmy's and she would treat me like a sister.Oh, the hours we spent doing ho...ework and talking about clothes, boys,makeup, and such. It was during those times that I really felt like I waswhole. I felt really happy. But those times wouldn't last for me.Eventually I would have to go home and back to the real world, the worldof fear and hating myself.To earn money, I started letting people around the neighborhood know Iwas. After work I went out to a bar with one of my fairly boring coworkers because my roommates and my friends were out of town for the holiday. By about 11 my friend decided she wanted to go home. The combination of a bit tipsy and knowing I had the apartment all to myself made me pretty horny, so I decided to stay and see if I could meet a guy. My friend left and it wasn't 10 minutes until this very very cute guy walked up and started talking to me. His name was Matt and he was really tall and had. More

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