But yesterday it felt almost good to have something difficult and mindless to do: to fill the wheelbarrow again and again, push it through the forest,...and dump it out. I didn’t have to think about, just had to do it. Today will be the same. It hasn’t rained again but it has been overcast both days and that’s good, that keeps the mud from hardening. I can hardly believe what I’m grateful for–overcast skies and difficult, mindless mud-shoveling labor. December 25 I finally got through shoveling. I wasn't going to get out in a hurry.After Dr Randolph and the bitches left, locking the door behind them, I explored the small room. It had a window I could see out, overlooking the canal. Even if I could remove the chain, there was nowhere for me to go. I was virtually naked with no money and no ID. And even if I made it to the police, there was that damned contract. I didn't even know what it said.I watched telly for a while, until it was dark and I felt tired, then went to sleep.The next. More

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