At twenty years, I was hardly a child. I mustered up some courage. “It’s because you’re all bark but no bite, Mother.” “Excuse me?” It got...her attention. “Well, you keep dishing out empty threats all the time. It’s no wonder nobody takes you seriously.” The gasps all over the room were just too cute. “Shut up!” she shouted, enraged. “Or I promise you I’ll…” “Spank my naked bum in front of the assembly? Whip my arse in the courtyard? Bind my arms and legs and throw me into a growth of nettles?”. Described simply, they would put these creatures – that looked like a cross between a slug and a spider – on the wound and then slap them. Their immediate reaction was the fight or flight response, so they would defaecate, ready to slither/run away. The shit had to be as fresh as possible because some of the effective chemicals were volatile. Later, my alien friends informed me that they weren’t sure these chemicals would help my human recovery.‘So why did I let them put these disgusting. More

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