The comments pretty much boiled down to:* I appreciate the points you made about the quality of writing "But your intro really sets you up for failur...."It did. My syntax was terrible, the dialog was flat and so on and so-forth (my main character had three different names.)* There was one in particular by a "Vickie" that hit the nail on the head. The nicest part: "You're so self-consciously self-contradictory, self-vaunting and self-evasive, I hardly know where to begin. So I'll won't begin.. I moved my hand down onto her arse before hitching up her short skirt. As her skirt made its way up around her waist and exposed her pert arsecheeks she turned, pressing her hands against the filing cabinet as I shifted her now wet knickers to the side. She guided my manhood deep into her pussy, suppressing a scream of pure pleasure as she did so.I thrusted deep into her inviting pussy and out, right to the tip of my cock, before thrusting back inside. I looked at her arsehole as I fucked her. More

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