I have plans for the next week or so, including Earth Day. You never know what might happen.”On the eve of Earth Day I prepared myself for the ordea... of a night with Alfred. I had my music player and earphones. Even if he droned on all-night I might be able to blot him out.The RSPB were being very secretive about the location of the birds’ nest. We would be collected from the Royal Oak’s car park by a van and put in the back so we couldn’t see as we were driven to the nearest track. From there. ‘You two didn’t um…?’ ‘Fuck?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Yeah, it good way to fill in time.’ ‘Oh god, I know his mother.’ ‘Calm down Aunt Rebecca. Of course you do. You are neighbours. I saw him looking at you and lick his top lip. At an opportune time you ought to…?’ ‘Oh god, don’t say it darling. I get into enough trouble already because of my suspected adultery… oh god, I shouldn’t have said that.’ ‘You are always so lovely with me Aunt Rebecca. My mother always said you were a slut when you were at college. More

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