I was to learn that he lived selfishly for amoral pleasure. Hallward did his best to get rid of him and continue with his painting, but I... to my eve...lasting regret, urged him to stay. I recall Hallward biting his lip and saying, "If Dorian wishes it, of course you must stay. Dorian's whims are laws to everybody, except himself."Lord Henry beguiled me with words as I posed for Basil. Words! Mere words! How terrible they were! How clear, and vivid, and cruel. One could not escape from them. And. It was like part of me was outside myself, watching me drowning in Deirdre.Have you ever said to yourself, "This is going to kill me" and went right ahead and did whatever it was anyway? That was me with Deirdre. This relationship was going nowhere. Deirdre doesn't do relationships. My life was going to end in two weeks. This is going to kill me.But she was with me now. I would have to make it feel like eternity.Our kiss seemed to last an eternity. Neither of us wanted it to end, maybe. I know. More

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