So what do we do? We get up in the morning and shampoo our hair, because clean fluffy hair is pretty. But it says right on the shampoo bottle, 'adds b...dy.' Honey, if you are trying to lose weight, you don't want to be using shampoo that adds body.Dish detergent. That's what I wash with. Remember that manicurist, Madge, who soaked her client's hands in dish detergent? She had the right idea. Wash your whole body with the stuff. Why? It says right on the label, 'cuts grease.' We're educated. One taste and I’m tempted to stay here too. Did you tell Banjo Paterson the full story?”“Everything but the sex.”“Imagine if you had told him. Another verse to Waltzing Matilda?” I said, giggling.“I guess, though perhaps not one that should be sung at school assemblies.”Off the top of my head, I found the words and sang them into the night air:“Down went the swagman sinking deep into the billabongWrapped and given life by a Kraken’s caring tentaclesThe sound of fucking is heard as you pass by. More

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