Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Tw...nkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.Born and bread in Minnesota, Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting. My daughter? My innocent little girl? You are dressed just in your pajamas, a blue silk shift that’s cut just a little too high. I carefully avoid glancing at the glint of red silk panties that flash at me when you shift position. Your hair is tousled and you have no makeup. Yet, you are still ravishingly beautiful. We talk. I expect you to be evasive, like any normal teenager, but you aren’t. You freely admit that you have had sex with, or “fucked” as you insist on saying, five men, three of. More

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