I never imagined it would be like that. No wonder you’re upset.’ ‘It’s not so much upset as confused. I was taken and enjoyed in ways I’d a...ways dreamt of, ways I’d prayed for a man to possess me. Yet it wasn’t what I’d imagined. It was fine when I fantasised it, but as reality it was odious, although I still wanted it. Perhaps because I felt powerless to stop it – I had no choice but to submit. I’m no longer sure of what I want. . . . and now my mind tells me I should be satiated with sex,. ... he was naked and so was I. I wanted him to see me..... and he was pulling his foreskin back and forward.... he was masturbating.... I stood there watching my eight year son playing with his cock and I wanted time to stop. I wanted to be the one touching his cock but I couldn't move, couldn't say anything and when I did manage something it was not what I really wanted. I just asked if he was still keeping it clean. That was it. After Daddy died and I started getting the royalty checks my. More

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