She made one of her weird faces at me, so I laughed. Yeah, just joking, I'm not creepy."You look sharp yourself, stranger." Okay, good. She didn't get...offended. I extended my hand."I'm Jason." We shook hands. All I could think was that Jennifer Lawrence was touching the hand I use to masturbate to her."Jennifer."There was a very awkward pause."So what brings you--" Do you wanna get drunk?" she asked suddenly and bluntly. I almost laughed. But she was clearly serious.So Jennifer Lawrence and I. I was becoming uncomfortable at this news and explained to her that I wasn't sure how much help I could be. Perhaps she should try and urinate for the doctors sample in her house (just 20 yards from mine). Elaine hopped from one high heeled foot to another and explained that she was unable to properly bend down to collect the urine sample in the little pot and that she also had to collect a stool sample for the doctor. I tried very hard not to think of this beautiful old woman squatting to. More

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