"Oh, Alexander," my mother would say, "that's a good thing! It means you can get up and start your day right!" Fucking morning people.So with the slow...ess afforded to a newly graduated nineteen-year-old, and wasn't that the coolest thing ever, I shut off the world's worst alarm and got up.I nabbed my phone off it's charger and extracted myself from my sanctuary, my abode, my batchelor pad, my room upstairs; and began the descent down the carpeted stairs. Oh, how I love carpet.I swiped my blonde. One even had his girldeactivated from his will."Lita was aghast."For inheritance reasons, so it's all clear, a perfect clone of LitaMillen is now being positioned in your dressing area. It wouldn't do fora post mortem to show that she had been a controlled pleasure unit foryears, with all this wiring inside her head; so they will find a normalgirl who was devastated at the loss of her husband and who rashly tookher own life."Lita started to cry in terror, this couldn't be happening! She tried. More

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