I just put a hex on Lillian that induced her to eat me.’ ‘Dear Lord, is she a cannibal?’ ‘No no, Captain America. You don’t die when Lillian...eats you. You . . . um . . . well . . . it’s more like going to heaven. My God, that girl loves to munch the rug.’ ‘Munch the rug?’ ‘Yeah, you know—beaver dinner, box lunch at the Y, tuna taco, bearded clam—’ ‘Okay, okay, I get it. Next time let me watch. That’s an order.’ ‘Only if you promise not to jerk off like you did that other time you watched.. Up to this point the conversation had followed the usual expected pattern. I placed the cup of tea on to the mat, awaiting the usual response of "but things were different back then", when she amazed me by shaking her head and stating "I'm being silly, very silly, please just ignore me." That's okay mum" I responded, trying to hide my surprise. "We'll visit often and you can of course come and stay with us"Checking my jacket pockets to ensure I had picked up the keys to the van, I began to make. More

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