Chayne first knew cocaine was evil when she did a line while attending a party. Her favorite band and was playing and she was dancing and having a bla...t. When she took her first line it was as if the music stopped. She felt a disconnect from the comfort that music provided to her soul. The loss of comfort welcomed darkness into her spirit. She did not care and she did not feel. Self sabotage is such a curious thing. She doesn’t want to be numb and disconnected from Dirty and she surely does. As I watched theexchange and all the other children performing for their respectiveparents, I felt a deep-seeded jealousy forming and a near palpabledesire to receive similar congratulations.The memory of the disappointment on Kathryn's face from my firstgymnastics class was still vivid in my mind. I desperately wanted toshow off like the other children, but doing so meant accepting Kathrynas something other than a wannabe, an imposter masquerading as mymother. I couldn't fight the fact,. More

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