I remembered that they all knew that Iwas Helen's husband. And that I had agreed to wear women's clothes inorder to fit in with them. I didn't know wh...ther they would treat me asanother female colleague, or just regard me as a sissy - less than aman and also less than a woman.I realised that a sissy was exactly what I was. And, strangely perhaps,I felt more at ease with that realisation. No need to pretend I wasanything else. I thought that I would be able to fit in to the officegroup very. My sisters kept up longer, but I didn't want to see anyone, didn't want to talk on the phone. If I had to leave the house I'd try to doit at night, when I wasn't likely to run into a neighbour. Most of the time I just laid on the bed and stared sightlessly at the ceiling. I stayed in the basement because going upstairs to the bedrooms,which remained as my family had left them, overwhelmed me.I existed in a nether-world between life and death. I knew I had to move one way or the other - to get. More

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