One of my favorite quotes on the subject is by the writer Neal Stephenson: “Where did all these people come from, and how do I make them go away?”...What this means as far as Christmas is concerned is that even though I enjoy gift-giving, I absolutely hate crowds.When I was about thirty and single—in days before the Internet—I developed tactics for shopping that made dealing with the crowds easier. I didn’t shower, shave, or brush my teeth for three days before going out to hit the malls (in. Releasing him, you did the same to everyone as we rode up. The door opened at our floor and you walked out, once again turning and waiting to ensure they were following. We all exited the elevator, you holding the key in your hand. Walking down the hall, you proceeded to unbutton your halter top and shuck it off, briefly stopping and turning to give everyone a good view of your chest. The guys’ eyes just about bugged out of their heads as they looked at you standing there with just your bra. More

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