.. You look like an asshole.'Police Report!!!!!Husband:My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home...Sergeant at Police Stat...on:What is her height?Husband:Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.Sergeant:Weight?Husband:Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.Sergeant:Color of eyes?Husband:Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.Sergeant:Color of hair?Husband:Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can't remember.Sergeant:What was she. I pulled it out. If it wasn't the one she meant, it would qualify. There were cutters and grinders and scrapers and just about anything for the kitchen you'd expect to find in a late night infomercial.The first thing that grabbed my attention was a jar that was open at both ends. A plastic lid screwed on the top. The bottom had a rectangular piece that the bottom of the jar moved back and forth on. This piece was similar to a sled with a cutting blade on the seat. There were slots to hold the. More

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