I wouldn’t change that for a second. Yet my mind persisted, wondering what might have been if I’d only realized that Ruth was scared of physical i...timacy. She was afraid of losing me as a friend if we didn’t carry our relationship further, and had told me as much when I confessed my feelings of love for her. Ruth had become dependent, almost addicted, to our special brand of friendship with benefits. Did she live in constant fear that I would one day stop being her friend and thus stop. Let’s finish this and have a brandy and we’ll get going.’ She smiled faintly. ‘Thanks. You’re right about me being tired. I don’t think I’ve relaxed properly like this for months. You’re quite a soothing person to be with.’ ‘I do my best.’ I concentrated hard on the idea of a soothing nap and possibly a little soothing hanky panky. As we went out into the warm evening she swayed, clutching at my arm. ‘I think I’m a little bit tipsy. I can’t go back to the house like this. The others will. More

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