She was 11 but curious so I knew Ihad to have that talk because I didn’t want her to endup like I did. It became a show and tell. After that its...emed it was just she and I but I always fantasizedabout Black men.One day I was on the computer and ran across a groupWhite female for first BBC. I spoke to several women inthe group and they encouraged me to try Black. One dayI got an IM message from a very handsome black man. WeImed each other for at least a month then one day Iconsented to. "I'll see you after work, ok?" Ok Dad, good night." Alone with my thoughts. Sleep was the last thingon my mind. All I could think of was "why?" Was God punishing me? Iprayed for an answer. The answer never came but sleep finally did.April 25;I'm trying to write this all down before they come to start theprocedure. I understand that I'll probably seep through the night whenthey do.Mom woke me up about 8:30. "Sam... Sam time to get up" Wa... what time is it?" It's 8:30 sleepy head." Sorry I must. More

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