What he might be doing right now and constantly wondering if he is thinking of me at all. If he even cares about me to begin with? Etc, etc, etc. Inse...t standard sadness shit here, blah... As you know, I struggle with trying to distract myself with other tasks or activities that might help take my mind off how unworthy I feel - and how much wine I've consumed in recent months - but nothing is helping. I can't even find someone who is willing to hold me for longer than a few hours, without it. Frisch duschen, gründlich rasieren, das teure After Shave von Papi zu Weihnachten und die schicksten Klamotten, die mein Kleiderschrank hergab. Weißes Hemd, bis auf die Brust aufgeknöpft, die teuren engen Jeans, die meinen knackigen Po angeblich so gut betonen. Kein Sakko, es war sommerlich warm in der Stadt an der Förde. Roland war völlig von den Socken, dass ich einen auf Gigolo machen wollte, hoffte, dass es mir gefallen würde und ließ sich von mir versprechen, ihm möglichst bald darüber zu. More

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