”“Thank you very much for the call, sir.”The next day, the Sheriff’s Deputies descend on Virgil’s house. They search the shed where the fire...ood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave.Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil’s house.“Hey, Virgil! This here’s Floyd ... Did the Sheriff come?”“Yeah!”“Did they chop your firewood?”“Yep!”“Happy Birthday, buddy!”Whoever said that rednecks weren’t sentimental?This compliments of the ‘Shy. ’ Then he fell asleep again.His wife had never heard him say that before, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, ‘You’re cute... ‘ The wife was disappointed because instead of ‘beautiful, ‘ it was now ‘cute.’She asked, ‘What happened to beautiful?’The man replied, ‘The drugs are wearing off.’A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, ‘I almost had an affair with another woman.’ The priest said, ‘What do you mean, almost?’. More

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