No chores to do. Bored… and frustrated. I had my fortieth birthday the previous August. A feeling that time is running out and dumped twice by Moody...during the summer but asked back on each occasion to which I had said yes – I love her but my loyalty and devotion seem to count for nothing. Hedonism is all I appear to have left. Or is that just an excuse for my immoral behaviour? Do I believe my own lies in order to really deceive others more skilfully? I’m having a mid-life crisis. Fack. My. If I was told that Missy had found a boyfriend, I would be happy for her. Tami deserved her happiness without worrying about how her best friend would react.Almost as sad as Tami and me was how this had hurt Alan. I felt almost as bad for how I’d treated him as I had Tami. Jeff, Alan and I had been friends for as long as I could remember. If you’d told me that Jeff would be dead and I would hardly be speaking to Alan right now, I would have laughed in your face. Nothing could have caused me to. More

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