- Mark TwainBy all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.- SocratesI was marrie... by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.- Groucho MarxMy wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.- Jimmy DuranteI have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.- Zsa Zsa GaborOnly Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.-. ‘I don’t know, but I don’t want to leave it. Maybe we can move some stuff around in the back seat.’ I looked in the back seat. ‘I don’t think so, son.’ Mike looked in the car. ‘We can put it in the middle of the front seat.’ ‘Ok, college man,’ I said. ‘Then where is your mom going to sit?’ I could see on his face he was trying to come up with a solution. ‘I got an idea,’ he said. He opened the passenger side door. He put the TV in the middle. He then got in and sat down. ‘See plenty of room.. More

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