I have always taken the greatest pleasure in things, in retrospect. The unrelenting thinking and my labyrinthine brain. I oscillate again. I am in a c...nstant dialectic of hating my thoughts and loving them. Pain and pleasure. La douleur exquise. I want more pain, more pleasure. I want to give him every immeasurable psychological inch of me this time, no wavering, no drifting, no volition. The more I give, the less I will be lost. There will be nothing left to adulterate my self-awareness. As. " The monsters?" Yes, the monsters."Bringing in the anchors would take too long. We tied juffa cord with wood floats to the anchor chains and then let the chain fall into the ocean. We drifted the same way the ship was moving. A sail had to be set to give us some headway. When we were close enough, I threw a grappling hook and tied us to the ship.I climbed aboard with a fresh drum for the shotgun as well as two spears. The deck of the ship was covered with the dead, not all of them Human. There. More

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