The clerk asked “What’s the problem? Wouldn’t your cat eat them?” The blonde’s eyes got very large, and she whispered “Do you mean to tell...me that ‘Pussy Treats’ are for cats?”The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. “Darling, whatever is the matter?” he asks. “Sweetheart” she sobs “the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out the oven to season it, and the phone rang. When I came. I’m slippery, but add a little extra lubricant anyway as it’s been such a long time since I’ve been fucked. And that is what I’m going to do. I’m going to fuck myself. Slide it in and out, hard and fast. Using the fingers of my left hand to pull open my labia and guide the tip, I grasp the root and angle it so the curve is pointing up towards me. The damn thing feels too cold to successfully imagine it to be a real cock as it makes contact with my pussy. The fantasy might be ruined but I don't. More

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