“I think that all that porn you’ve been watching is starting to mess with your head. I think if we’re going to live together, then you have to ...romise to find a girlfriend and start living in the real world. Can you do that?”“Sure Mom, I can do that.” “Good,” she said. “I’ll see you in the morning. And don’t forget to bring back my pantyhose.”* * *The next morning, Mom showed up right on schedule, in a form-fitting, black, V-neck sweater, fairly low cut, with her first initial, L for. Mother asks the jury to make a ruling about me so Icould be excused while the adults discussed the developments."We are prepared to vote," says Aunt Tildie, the eldest present, thesissy should be kneeling and begging us for mercy." Not in the dirt in that cream sweater dress, sie is! Jezzie can kneelon the picnic bench," says my mother.I kneel, slightly elevated and beg them. My family is not taking thispart very seriously. The jury makes smart remarks like "I expect morerending of garments". More

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